by nuzuli ziadatun ni'mah

Let’s talk about what’s going on today. I was really disappointed with some people which recently really concerned about the approval on equal marriage in the USA. Here I didn’t want to give my own opinion, but I don’t know, maybe I will. Just let’s take a look.

I know this issue from my senior at high school which is I do admire a lot. She posted about her speech on her Youtube account about gay marriage (you can take a look here). Not really because I’ve known the issue, but because of her, I automatically clicked the link and watched the video. She started with a posting from Sherina on her twitter account @sherinasinna;

Banzai! Same sex marriage is now legal across the US. The dream: next, world! Wherever you are, be proud of who you are. #LGBTRights

In her opinion, marriage is really a sacred thing. Why would you think that people want to be stuck to one person on the rest of their life if this one person means nothing to them? Maybe people thought that this gay person have been desperate over something, they just haven’t tried harder to get someone which was opposite gender. But the problem is not that.

These gay people, she said, just if they could choose to be a normal person, they would definitely chose that, because be a gay person in this country means that you’ll be hated by your family, bullied by your friends, and rejected by the society. The case is that our society (Indonesian) is not ready to accept this kind of thing, so that people going crazy and spread their hatred to these people. Hey, these people deserve to be happy in their own way, just like us.

The second opinion is come from my junior at high school. She posted these words on her facebook account today;

The approval of gay marriage is in the US, not here. Stop complaining, it’s their life, their rights and their decision to find same sex partners. I don’t understand the tendency of religious Indonesians trying to push their religious beliefs above civil liberties. When a muslim girl is abused because she wears hijab, by someone dislike the idea of hijab, you’ll be like “oh that’s rude. Against the human rights!” Double standards, double standards everywhere.
And those comments about “oh I hope it won’t be legalize here! Masya Allah!”. (Correct me if I’m wrong) but there is no way in Indonesia such law can be enacted, because our fundamental norm is based on religious belief (believe in one Almighty God), since no laws can be made against the fundamental norms, then no laws shall be against any religious belief. So, chill.

Yes, I just want to copy her opinion about it, because mostly I have the same opinion with her. For me, it’s just not right here in Indonesia, I know, but to be over act about this one is really doesn’t make any sense.

One of my senior at my organization said to us, “There is something that most of these (gay) people doesn’t understand. Marriage is something that came from religion. It recently became government business because of political needs.”

Yes, marriage is a sacred thing, once you get married, it means forever. Just if you think you are not sure over someone, just don’t do that. Hence, it became government business because when people get divorce, they have problem with the money they’ve made. Also, to make sure on what nationality is the son belongs.

I don’t know maybe marriage is not an appropriate name for the equal couples. Maybe it’s enough to be accepted by the society (and government), because I don’t see the urgency to get married on these people. I think people getting married to have child, to get along with the families, or to avoid free sex (or something alike). But, in the country of freedom like USA, it seems weird maybe, to say that they need this kind of approval. Sex is something common there, right? Even we can see it almost on their films, or TV series, or magazines, or maybe on their daily.

Or maybe they just want to live together in peace? What a sweet purpose.

But, I don’t really know about that, haha. Just want to give some opinions about this. And yes, this country is not ready to this kind of thing, or simply we are not capable to handle this here. It’s because the first point of our Pancasila said; Ketuhanan Yang Maha Esa, which means every action we take have to refer to that point. If you say that getting married is human right, that’s true, but to get married with the same gender person is not compatible here. We need to change a lot if you want that to be happening. And it’s almost impossible to make the change.


By the way, seems too far to explain why this post titled with ‘growing’. I was like, oh I want to tell a story about my life recently, and maybe my opinion is needed to give a preface. I thought that someone’s opinions are really explaining their personalities. It’s like I didn’t need to tell myself too much because you could see me from my opinion, ehehe.

Yes, I’ve been growing older, and older, and older. Every second I spend make some changes to myself. Some things became not important, and some others came up in urgent to be thinking. But, I’ve made some deal with myself about something which I couldn’t accept before. Mochtar Lubis said in his novel ‘Jalan Tak Ada Ujung’ that we have to make deal with our biggest fear, so that we can live in peace. Problem need to be fixed in the same way. Sometime, the reality is not as big as your expectation, and maybe it’s not that bad.

I remember the first time I left home; I was at 4th grade at the time. I was being sent to a camping event which always held on Scouts Day, it’s 15th of August if I’m not wrong. We stayed for 2 days and 1 night, get along with the other elementary students over the sub district area, every year until I was in my 6th grade.

I often left home after that, joined my school events or just played over night and stayed at my friend’s house. At my 8th grade, I was lucky to be sent to a quarantine of Olympiad students over Yogyakarta. I met some great friends there, and even committed with one of them to be my pen friend. We exchanged letter until my 2nd grade of senior high school, and we intuitively chose the same major in UGM. Once again we became friends and about to graduate together on next August. Sweet enough, isn’t it? 😀

The quarantine felt like a big turning point to me, because after that, I was being able to join National Olympiad of Mathematics (2 times), got a medal, and even got scholarship in an international school. It did look like a big dream came true, didn’t it?

Those all things make me learned a lot about how dreams worked on my life. Why I could get this or that one, why suddenly a fortune came and changed my life, or why some dreams didn’t work like the other one.

Now, I am remembering those things which once happened in my life. Just to make me realize that some dreams really work one day, and maybe some others really are not destined to be mine. Or else, when we can make deal with our fear, or when we can let someone go from our life, there is a time when we realize that we are growing, isn’t it true?


Dear love,

I’ve been growing once again. I’ve let you go since—I forgot when I could make it. But here to be known by you; the love will never change, even I’ve let you go or we even been separated thousands meters away, even I can talk to you like I didn’t feel something special over you before, or even I can perfectly be your friend. I still can feel it deep in my heart; when I see you first time in the day, or when I suddenly hear your voice.

Those all, make me believe that the love is still the same, as big as before (maybe even bigger). But yeah, just forget it. You won’t be disturbed by these sentences, right?

And so, keep growing folks! May fortune come to you and me, and the turning point feels great and doesn’t frighten all of us!